How To Disagree Without Getting Angry

talk out disagreements

Disagreeing with someone is inevitable. There’s no way everyone you ever meet will have the same opinions as you. However, there’s a way to disagree without getting angry with each other and making the situation terrible for both parties involved.

Feeling the Fury

Anger is often a social emotion. You have an anger-triggering thought as well as a feeling of pain or a sense that someone is trying to harm you in some way. When you’re in a disagreement with someone, you might instantly feel the need to jump into defense mode and push back.

Anger doesn’t help anyone when you’re arguing, though. You have to learn how to disagree with someone without getting heated emotions involved. Anger leads to outbursts and saying hurtful things you don’t mean — and you can’t always just take those things back. If things get bad enough, anger can even make people lash out physically, and that’s never something you want to happen.

Thankfully, there are ways to prevent this from happening when you get into a disagreement. Here’s how to disagree with someone without losing your cool:

Don’t Try to Win

Feeling the need to win an argument is just likely to make you madder. There doesn’t have to be a winner. People have different opinions, which is something that’s never going to change. You also probably can’t change a person’s opinion when they’re dead set on it — just like you know you won’t budge if they try and change yours.

Politics, especially these days, can be particularly polarizing. But if you try to win and eviscerate the other person with your argument, you run the risk of isolating someone who used to be a friend or acquaintance. Winning an argument isn’t worth losing someone over. If you feel you need to make your opinion heard, express it. But try to do so without getting angry or being hostile towards the other person.

Express Your Own Thoughts

Anger usually leads to criticizing the other person when you disagree. To avoid this, focus on saying what’s bothering you and expressing your own beliefs, rather than trying to attack the views of the other person. Technically, this could be considered learning how to disagree with someone without turning it into a huge argument.

Stick to facts if you have them, rather than opinions. Facts aren’t emotional, so you’re less likely to get riled up. They also lend credibility — if you know the source and that they’re actual facts. You’ll have to have done your research for this one.

Be Respectful

Often, we end up disagreeing with people we know and care about. Don’t let emotions cloud how much you respect the other person. If they’re someone you want to keep in your life, you don’t want to ruin it by getting angry and spitting out hurtful words.

Keeping the other person in mind can help you avoid alienating them with anger. Try and remember why they’re so important in your life and what could happen if you lost them. This will help you reign things in when you feel yourself starting to lose control.

Agree to Disagree

If you can feel things starting to get heated, try and find some common ground. You value each other’s opinions, so make sure to voice that. If a compromise is needed, talk through what you’d both be giving up. Compromises aren’t always equal, but they’re an important part of mastering how to disagree with someone. A compromise can turn a potentially nasty argument into a civil conversation with terms you both agree on.

Some arguments are obviously more serious than others. Talk through the stakes as well. Each person has to understand what the other is going to go through. You don’t want to cause each other pain and suffering. Rather, you want to do what’s best for both of you in the long run.

Take a Deep Breath and Walk Away

Sometimes there’s just nothing else you can do. You have to walk away before you get angry and out of control. The disagreement might just have to wait until you can get yourself calm enough to have a rational discussion instead of letting things get emotional.

There’s nothing wrong with walking away. It’s better to have an argument in the right state of mind than saying things you’re going to regret later.

It’s definitely possible to have a disagreement without getting angry. Take in these tips, prepare yourself and don’t let your emotions get the best of you.

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5 Real-Food Swaps for Sports Supplements

From protein bars to gooey gels, shakes to jelly beans, the dietary supplements industry is making big bucks, but those pricey sports supplements may do more harm than good. Although they present a quick and convenient way for you to meet your high energy needs, highly processed products and mystery ingredients can be hard to stomach. And there’s no reason why real food can’t do the same thing, in a much healthier and tastier way.

Allen Lim, PhD, sports physiologist, cycling coach, and co-author of the cookbook Feed Zone Portables, has made it his mission to bring real food back to sports nutrition. Instead of reaching for packages, his athletes swear by his recipes for rice cakes, little sandwiches, and waffles. His advice: “Choose products and recipes with a minimal number of ingredients, preferably real food, that you can recognize and that don’t challenge your intelligence, even if they challenge your desire for convenience.”

Try these five flavorful foods that will enhance your performance and taste better than the engineered stuff.

Raisins vs Sports Jelly Beans

Sports jelly beans boost blood sugar levels during training, but they come with a long list of ingredients and, often, a hefty price tag. And when pitted against the humble raisin, they fared no better in terms of boosting endurance performance or power in cyclists. Munch on raisins for a more natural way to get your carbs during moderate- to high-intensity endurance exercise.

Rice Cakes vs Sports Gels

Lim works with some of the top cyclists in the world, who spend hours on the road, swallowing sugary gels. The better choice? White rice! High in calories and low in fiber, it’s an efficient fuel for athletes both during and immediately after training. Lim makes it into a sticky rice, which can be shaped into little cakes, easy to pack for the road. He also plays with flavors and mixes in red lentils, masala spiced chicken, berries, and peanut butter—yum! Check out his recipe for Cinnamon-Apple Rice Cakes.

Feed Zone Portables by Chef Biju Thomas and Dr. Allen Lim

Get the full recipe for Cinnamon-Apple Rice Cakes.

Chocolate Milk vs Recovery Sports Shake

To nail the three R’s of recovery (rehydrate, refuel, and repair), try your kid’s favorite drink—low-fat chocolate milk. It provides all the right benefits—water and sodium to rehydrate, carbohydrate to refuel, and protein to repair damaged muscle fibers—at a fraction of the cost of a recovery sports drink.

Beet Juice vs Nitric Oxide

Nitric oxide supplements promise increased blood flow to your heart and muscles, but leafy green vegetables and beet juice, naturally high in nitrate, are safer and just as effective in enhancing athletic performance. But if drinking beet juice isn’t your thing, you could give dark chocolate a try, too. A recent study showed eating just 1½ ounces of dark chocolate may have similar blood vessel effects thanks to the antioxidant epicatechin. Just make sure it’s only a couple of pieces, not the entire bar!

Coffee vs Pre-Workout Formula

When the last thing you feel like doing is hitting the gym, it’s tempting to sneak a scoop of pre-workout formula into your water bottle. But why swig a mix of mystery stimulants, when a cup of black coffee can do the same thing, and without the tingles and jitters? A recent review of more than 600 studies confirms just 200 mg of caffeine can increase endurance performance by an average of 24 percent. Stay grounded and reach for an Americano next time you yawn your way into exercise gear.

This list is just a start, but many simple foods perform just as well when put to the test. Experiment with what you like—PB&J sandwiches, bananas, and sweet potatoes are other favorites. Learn to tailor what you put into your body to meet your personal needs—sports drinks can easily be made at home with a simple mix of water, salt, and maple syrup. View sports supplements as just that—“supplements” to the real foods in your diet.

10 Of The Most Important Things You Should Do To Make Life Simple And Happy

girls-women-happy-sexy-53364“As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Are you living a stressed out life? Do you want to change things for good? If you said yes, then you must start to live a simple life. Don’t get me wrong; a simple life doesn’t involve giving up all your material possessions. But it’s about getting rid of unimportant things that ruin your happiness and focus only on things that matter.

Simplicity might involve getting rid of negative people and ditching old bad habits so that you can drive your energy and time towards positive things in life. When you start to live a simple life, you will be happy and be able to keep people around you happy as well. You see, simplicity is more about adding real value and positivity to your life so that you can be happy and healthy.

That said, simplicity isn’t as simple as it sounds. It’s a big and beautiful journey that starts with two simple steps: (1) the short list and (2) the long list.

The Short List

To put it short and neat, simplicity is all about identifying what’s important to you and getting rid of everything else. But yeah, if you are someone who likes to have multiple plans in different areas of operation then the short list won’t be enough. Here is the long list.

The Long List

Again, the long list depends on your priorities in life. It can vary from person to person according to their goals and habits. However, here is a list of things that are common obstacles in the majority of people’s lives. Choose the ones that are apt for your lifestyle and incorporate changes in your routine for the betterment of your life.

1) Make A List Of Short-Term Goals

If you have a long term goal in life, a better way to plan is to break it down into 4-5 smaller tasks. This is a common practice followed by many successful people. It helps simplify things, eases the pressure off you, and allows you to focus better, by taking one step at a time.

How do you break one big goal into several small tasks? Ask yourself what your priority is and start from the one you value the most i.e. the ones that have the biggest impact on your long term goal. Accordingly, plan a list of actionable ways to accomplish them faster.

2) Evaluate Your Daily And Weekly Commitments

The moment you have decided to become successful, you must learn to evaluate your commitments and segregate them according to their importance. Analyze your daily and weekly commitments from home to work and back to home; what are the things that you should be committed to. Once you make a list, you’ll be able to identify activities that are not important but eating your time every day. Get rid of them and keep only things that you love doing.

3) Manage Your Time Better

Time management is probably the most important factor contributing to the success of an individual. Knowingly or unknowingly, there could be a number of ways that you are spending your time on wrong things. For example, if you are a busy person then you might have only 30 minutes of family time in a day. That time can be better utilized by joking or planning for the future. Instead, if you choose to talk about your office things and your colleagues’ problems, then that time is easily wasted. And you aren’t going to get it back for sure.  Eliminate all unimportant things from eating up your time. Time is too precious to be wasted on useless things.

4) Simplify Your Work And Home Tasks

Your work tasks many involve handling multiple responsibilities in the given time. You can never get things done by allowing unimportant things to affect your concentration. Switch off your mind from personal things when you are at work and challenge yourself to complete your tasks faster than your best colleague for extra motivation.

When it comes to home tasks, prepare a list of important things that need to be done in a day. If you think that hiring a housekeeper or additional help can give you some extra time, go for it.

5) Limit Your Screen Time and Communication

Mobile phones, computer, and TV are highly addictive and must be avoided when not required. Instead of chatting (on social media and Whatsapp), emailing and browsing, learn to spend your leisure in nature with your spouse and kids. It will help refresh your mind and keep you calm. You’ll feel a lot better when you get back to work. This is the same reason why wealthy people take vacations on a regular basis. It helps break the monotony of your work routine and helps you come back fresh and energetic.

6) Avoid Negative Thinking

Thinking about negative people and situations is completely useless. Negative feelings like jealousy, bitterness, fear, cowardliness, and resentment can never do any good for your physical and mental well-being. One easy way to develop positive thinking is to practice mind control techniques like yoga and meditation. And make sure you get rid of negative people from your life. People who discourage you and make fun of your aims should never be a part of your success. Reading books on positivity and motivation could also be a great way to help yourself gain success. Get rid of negative thinking completely and develop a positive mindset to make yourself a better person personally and professionally.

7) Diet and Exercise

What you eat and what you do to pump up your heart rate plays a critical role in shaping your health, fitness, and confidence. Let’s face it; you will be able to perform better physically and mentally when you have a healthy body and sound mind. The best way to get that is to exercise daily and eat natural food. Yes, simplifying your diet by getting rid of processed foods and eating more raw vegetables, fruits, green leaves, and nuts will benefit your health immensely. In turn, you will have improved immunity to fight common illnesses that could otherwise hamper your physical and mental performance.

Also, avoid taking over-the-counter medication and instead opt for natural treatments. Common health problems like cold, headache, and fever can be cured by simple home remedies.

  1. Stop Worrying About Debt

Debt is one of the biggest concerns for people who aren’t successful in their careers. That can indeed cause a lot of stress and sleepless nights too. But, let’s be honest. Worrying isn’t going to solve your problems. In extreme cases, it could destroy your happiness and confidence and make you a weaker version of you. So, from now on, simplify your life by focusing on ways to solve your debts and stop worrying about them.

  1. Restrict Your Attachment to Material Possessions

Sometimes, having too much money can also be a problem. You might be tempted to purchase race cars, build big homes, buy expensive gadgets, luxury items, and so on. Over time, overspending could become a habit and make you more attached to having more material possessions. Even that is an addiction. You might purchase expensive items to live a luxurious lifestyle and show your close friends and relatives how wealthy and successful you are. That can be exciting but what you might fail to notice is that materials and properties can also separate you from your friends. At one point, you will be happier spending your time in the company of materials rather than human beings. To avoid such problems, make sure you restrict your investment in material possessions – at least avoid buying unnecessary items so you can give more time and energy to your family.

  1. Avoid multi-tasking

Because the situation in your home and office demands you to handle multiple tasks at a time, you might start thinking that multitasking is the only possible way to get more things done in less time. But, studies on the brain have concluded that multi-tasking is stressful, distractive, less enjoyable, and can easily make a person less focused and less productive at work. So please avoid task-swapping.


How to Let Go of Perfection and Enjoy Being ‘Okay’ at Things

embrace being good enough

Do you want to stop being a perfectionist?

Maybe your first thought is “no”, because you were taught to aim high and you equate perfectionism with hard work. But picture a kid beating himself up for getting 96% on a test instead of 100%. He doesn’t just have high standards — he can’t enjoy his own success.

Were you that child? Perfectionism often starts young. However, unhappiness, even depression, is a huge downside of it. You might also suffer from other negative effects.

Maybe you can’t sleep because you’re thinking about work. Or you procrastinate, either because things aren’t “just so,” or because you’re afraid to fail. You may even have relationship issues because you focus too much on their work, or try to hold others to your impossible standards.

If you stop being a perfectionist, you’ll feel better physically, too. Working long hours under stress can contribute to insomnia, and lack of sleep is a risk factor in conditions like heart attacks and strokes.

You can let go of perfectionism and still be successful — as well as happier and healthier.

See the Forest for the Trees

Accept that at least some parts of your life will include moments of being “good enough.” If you get bogged down in the details, you lose sight of the big picture.

When you’re planning a big family dinner, attendees won’t focus on whether the napkins match the tablecloths. Your co-workers only care that you do your job well enough for them to do theirs. Not that you stumbled over a word or two during the presentation. Every little thing can’t be perfect all of the time.

Embrace Your Mistakes

Some of the most successful people in the world have failed spectacularly, but they learned from their mistakes instead of wallowing in self-doubt. This “fail and learn” model became so big in Silicon Valley that entrepreneurs founded a conference called FailCon, which now operates in cities around the world.

Instead of being hard on yourself when you fail, think of how you’ll do things differently in the future.

Keep Moving Forward

Fear of failure plus the need to succeed can create a trap that leaves perfectionists stuck in the status quo. To get moving again, think about what you most need to do to accomplish a goal. You’ll probably realize that only about 80 percent of the things you’ve been focusing on are necessary to succeed — the other 20 percent are details that won’t ultimately affect anything.

Celebrate Your Victories

You expect to always succeed, so when you do, it’s a given. And you’re still never satisfied. History is full of celebrated people who never truly enjoy their successes. In a 1980 interview, even John Lennon said he wanted to remake every record the Beatles recorded.

Nobody is happy all of the time, but if you don’t stop to celebrate when things go well, what was the point of your hard work?

Take Care of Yourself

Practicing self-care will help you along the way as you try to stop being a perfectionist. Take breaks at work to re-energize. Chatting to colleagues — about work or anything, really — gives you a different perspective.

Don’t let personal relationships fall by the wayside. Carve out chunks of time for hobbies and interests. You might even try new ones because they sound like fun, without worrying about whether you’ll be great at them.

Letting go of perfection doesn’t require you to stop doing your best. It just means that your health and happiness are more important to you than going after something that’s unattainable. You might see the value of being “okay.”

The post How to Let Go of Perfection and Enjoy Being ‘Okay’ at Things appeared first on Words of the Web.

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7 Easy Ways To Get Ready For Halloween With Kids

Are you ready for Halloween? If not these ideas will help you plan.

1. Tips to prepare young kids for Halloween

This is especially necessary for very young kids. It is important to prepare the kids about this holiday or tradition, since many kids could develop an anxiety about it owing to scary decorations. Do talk to your child about this holiday and why it is celebrated. Explain that s/he is completely safe and that there is no need to be afraid of scary decorations. Watch out for signs if your child seems uncomfortable about something. Respect the child’s feelings.

You can share fun Halloween poetry with kids. And here is one for Halloween not-so- scary tales for children.

2. Prepare your yard

If you are planning to put up Halloween decor, then the first thing to do is prep up the yard. Remove all un-necessary clutter: bikes, toys, pet’s stuff etc. Temporarily store these items away in the basement or the attic. Rake the leaves and clear away space for the Halloween decorations.

Here are some safe ideas for your Halloween yard.

3. Buy or make the decorations

If you already have the Halloween decorations, remove them from their storage. Check if anything needs to be fixed. You can also make lovely decorations with kids as DIY project.

Here is a great craft website that has fun tutorials to do with children. You can even buy the material needed from the site itself. These projects are arranged based on expertise levels.

4. Buy and carve pumpkins-narrate Jack-o-lantern’s tale to the kids

Take the kids out to a pumpkin patch. Help them select a pumpkin or two and learn how to carve it. You can also explain the tradition/story behind Jack-o lanterns. (The story is set in Ireland about a grumpy man named Jack who makes everyone around him miserable. So wretched a person is he that, when he dies, he does not even get a place in heaven or in hell. As a result, he is left to wander in the spaces between the two regions, which is completely filled with darkness. The Devil takes pity on his plight and replaces his head with a pumpkin having three holes carved out for the eyes, nose and mouth. Here he places some candles to allow Jack to see in the darkness. And thus he comes to be known as Jack of the Lantern or ‘Jack-o-lantern’.

Zombie pumpkins– These are wonderful decorations to add to your yard. Here is a great website that has free tutorials and ways to carve out Halloween zombie pumpkins.

Here is a great site for Halloween stencil decorations. These are free of cost and you can download them and get to work.

Pumpkinpile is another great site for younger kids to free download stencils.

5. Buy or make a costume-some easy ideas

Decide what you/your kids should go as.

  • Dressing up as a pirate is easy and the costume is readily available in most markets. You can even wear your old jeans, a torn shirt and tie a sash around your head. Next, you need to make an eye patch with a black cloth and put on some fake beard or mustache. To make your pirate’s sword: draw it on a cardboard and cut it out carefully with scissors. Cover it up with a foil wrap.
  • A ghost costume is also easy: An old white sheet is all you need. Put it over the head and mark out two areas for the eyes. Cut these out. Now all you need to do is put the sheet over your head, adjust so you can see through the holes and moan loudly.
  • You can also become a scarecrow. Wear an old torn shirt with faded, worn pants. Place a brown paper bag over your head. Mark out the areas for the eyes. Cut out some long strips and paste them to the paper bag for hair. If you can find straw, add it to your hands and legs.
  • Making a mask is also easy. Use paper plates to draw the outline of one’s favorite character. Cut out the eyes, mouth and nose. Next, make small holes near the ears and pass a thin string through it. Place the mask over the head and you are ready!

6. Arrange a fun Halloween scavenger hunt for kids

If you are not too fond of going trick or treating, this is a great idea for kids to celebrate. Give small clues to children so they can find hidden treats. The treasures need not be candy only; you can buy small trinkets from dollar stores and hide them. Choose healthier Halloween treats instead of sugary ones.

7. Ideas for a Halloween party

You can have an adult/teenager Halloween party and/or another one for younger kids.

Here are great resources:

  • Party ideas for kids
  • Halloween party ideas for adults
  • Halloween creepy food ideas
  • Easy-to-make Vampire blood punch recipe: Mix together 2 liters of sugar-free ginger ale with 2 cans of fruit punch. Pour the mixture in a bowl. Add ice.


6 Foam Roller Moves for Every Runner

“Foam rolling is like giving yourself a deep-tissue massage,” says physical therapist and running specialist, Abby Douek, owner of Run Raleigh PT. Douek recommends rolling both before and after runs, depending on your objectives. “When you have inefficiencies in your gait pattern (read: problems with your form due to tight muscles), it can be helpful to foam-roll first to loosen muscles,” she says.

Rolling after your runs can help muscles relax, and improve circulation to speed recovery time. “It reduces restrictions in the body’s connective tissue—and, if you pause and press on tight, sore spots, can mimic many of the effects of Active Release Therapy (ART)—a newer type of bodywork performed by physical therapists,” Douek says. “Foam rolling isn’t always going to fix underlying problems, but it is a great way to prevent them.”

An effective foam-roll session also involves less time than you think. “It only takes five or six minutes,” says Douek. “You really only need to hit each area for 30 seconds to be effective.”

To help loosen your running muscles, focus on these five areas:


The glutes are one of the main drivers of a powerful stride, which is one of the reasons they can get tight from lots of running.

Sit on the roller and then cross your right ankle over your left knee. Focus on (very) slowly rolling the right glutes. Switch legs and sides. If you’re time-strapped, spend time on the outer edges of your glutes, which are usually the tightest spots.


The muscles on the backs of your thighs can get strained and weak from sitting, and when worked hard during running, can become even more sore.

Sit on the floor with your right leg extended, and your left leg bent, with your left foot flat on the floor. Position the foam roller under the back of your right thigh. Put your weight on the roller, and roll (slowly) from just above the back of your knee to your glute. Spend 30 seconds on the inner muscles toward the center, and then lean outward for 30 seconds. You can cross one leg over the other if you want more pressure on the roller. Switch sides.


The calf muscles help absorb impact forces, assist in balance, and create your push off. Calves that are too tight can lead to Achilles tendon and foot issues, as well as get painfully sore themselves and limit your running.

Place the foam roller under your right leg, just below the knee. Focus on the belly of the muscle, from where it bulges to the back of the knee, and avoid the Achilles tendon. Roll for 30 seconds on the inner side, 30 seconds toward the middle, and then 30 seconds on the outer side. Switch sides.


These large muscles help stabilize your knee, and they also absorb impact, especially when running downhill.

Lie face-down with the roller placed under your right thigh, and roll straight from your knee to your hip for 30 seconds. Then lean toward the center of your body and roll for 30 seconds, then lean toward the outside. Switch sides.

Hip Flexors

These muscles pull the knee up when you run. Since we often spend too much time sitting, they get short and can inhibit a full, effective stride.

Place the edge of the foam roller under the front of your right hip while lying face down. Drop your opposite hip so the pressure is on the muscles inside of the hip, not on the bone in front. Roll for 30 seconds from the top of your quad muscles up toward your abdomen, going as high as your belly button. Switch sides.

IT Band Attachments

The IT (iliotibial) Band runs along the outside of your leg from above your hip to below your knee, and assists with leg stability. Avoid rolling on the tendon itself, as it’s often inflamed. Instead, loosen surrounding tissues, which can affect it.

First, lie on your side and position the roller between your hip and your waist. Roll over the area—approximately six-inches from the top of your pelvis to your outer hip—stopping before the bone. This is the upper attachment of the ITB and controls its tension. Then roll along the edges of the tendon on the outside of the thigh, releasing adhesions at the IT Band junctions with the quads in front, and the hamstrings in the back. You can place one foot flat on the floor, to help control your movement as your roll.

10 Easy Ways To Prevent Cold And Flu This Season

Tis the season to fall sick…. The weather is turning cooler and that means we need to take some basic precautions in order to prevent cold and flu. Typically: cold symptoms include runny nose, nasal congestion, sore throat and/or headaches. Flu symptoms include fever, aches and chills.

Here are some easy ways to prevent colds and flu this season.

1. Wash your hands like a pro!

Here is how to wash your hands:

  • Remove jewelry. Wet your hands.
  • Apply the soap. Work up a rich lather.
  • Scrub your hands for at least 15 seconds. Pay special attention to nails and backside of the hands and the skin in between the fingers.
  • Rinse off. Dry the hands with a clean towel. Use disposable towels as microbes can remain alive for hours on wet, used towels.
  • Shut off the faucet with the towel/tissue so you do not have to touch it.

If you do not have access to soap or water, use a hand sanitizer. This can kill nearly 99% of bacteria. Hand sanitizers tend to be drying, so use a hand lotion if needed. Good quality hand lotions will also prevent cracks in the skin and prevent germs from getting inside.

2. Know when to wash your hands

This tip is as important as the tip above. Here are important times to wash hands:

  • After shaking hands with someone.
  • After touching doorknobs.
  • After petting animals.
  • After working at the computer or using the phone.
  • Before and after cooking.
  • Before and after touching your face. Try to resist touching your face completely if you can help it.
  • After using the toilet.
  • Frequently, if you are in contact with sick people.
  • After/before playing with children with colds or runny noses
  • Before and after treating skin infections, cuts etc
  • Before and after handling raw meat

3. Get your flu shot

Flu shot could be an effective way of preventing seasonal flu. However, it is not guaranteed and kids and elders could still be vulnerable to the virus despite taking the shot. This may be due to the fact that the strain of influenza virus causing the infection differs annually and the vaccines may not keep up with it. The flu nasal shot may be taken by people aged between 2-49 years. Pregnant women must speak to their health care provider about its safety.

4. Clean surfaces regularly

Use antibacterial wipes, vinegar or mild bleach solution to clean tabletops, countertops, work surfaces, kids’ toys, telephones, cell phones, computer keyboards etc. This habit can kill microbes and prevent cold and flu to a large extent.

5. Sleep well

Make sleep a priority. Avoid late nights. Lack of sleep hampers immunity and can make you sick.

6. Exercise

Take care of your body and mind through daily exercise, yoga or meditation. These things go a long way in building immunity. If you exercise in a gym, wipe down all equipment with antibacterial wipes before use.

7. Stay hydrated

Drinking huge amounts of water to help flush out toxins and microbes. Water also dilutes the mucus and keeps airways clear.Drink hot water every few hours to soothe the throat –you could add honey and lemon juice to it to enhance immune strengthening properties.

8. Vitamin C for flu and cold

Some evidence suggests that taking high doses of vitamin C can help you develop immunity to cold and flu viruses. However, opinion on this is divided and some experts believe that taking 200 mg or more of Vitamin C at the start of the cold does not necessarily shorten its duration. That being said, vitamin C is a great antioxidant and won’t do any harm if you take it. Try to obtain it naturally through fruits and veggies of different colors. However, women in early pregnancy should avoid taking high doses of vitamin C. Always speak to your healthcare provider if you plan on taking any supplements to be on the safe side.

9. Limit intake of immunity-reducing foods and beverages

Limit your intake of sugar which can reduce immunity by nearly 50%. Also avoid alcohol and caffeine which can dehydrate the body. Limit your consumption of fried foods, packaged or ready-to-eat foods and beverages as well as refined foods.

10. Stay positive

A healthy body begins with a happy mind. Do not dwell on negative thoughts about sickness and disease. Instead, focus on positive things, and be grateful for your health. Try visualization techniques or meditate to stay in the present moment.Meet friends, love and laugh a lot. Try to keep busy with things you love to do. This is very important to prevent not just cold and flu but all other health issues.


Dealing with Rejection: It Doesn’t Mean That You’re Not Good Enough

“The best way out is always through” ~Robert Frost

I was trembling as I hung up the phone. He’d dumped me.

It was as if, while I was watching a murder mystery at the edge of my seat, the electricity had gone out. Poof! I wasn’t going to get to see the end of the movie, and I had no control over when the lights would come back on.

I felt the fangs of rejection sink into my heart like a merciless tarantula. My mind, which is normally going 500 miles an hour, came to a halt. Suddenly I felt nothing. Frozen. I had no thoughts. Total shock. The poison of the rejection spider slowly oozed into my bloodstream, paralyzing me in my seat.

“Get up! Get up now!” I heard the voice in my mind say. For some reason, it seemed as if moving could unfreeze my emotions.

I did get up, but stood there as if I was listening to the strange noises coming from the kitchen in the middle of the night. Waiting for someone to tell me that I was “punked” and that he was going to call me back to tell me that it was just a silly joke. Then we were going to make up and live happily ever after. That did not happen.

“We create what we defend against.” ~Marianne Williamson

We had a few close breakup calls before, and I always felt like I dodged a bullet when we ended up in a smooth place. Apparently, we had used up all the close calls reserved for us.

It was official: I was just not good enough. I was too broken to be loved. No one was going to love me forever. Um, can I get that in writing as well? I did. An email followed his phone call. It was as official as an IRS letter arriving on a Friday afternoon.

The words I had dreaded, protected myself against at all costs from the man who had professed his undying love for me: “Banu, you are too this and that. So I am out.” He said he was sorry.

Clingy is not sexy, nor is desperate. I had become both. All because I had not done the work to correct a limiting belief that runs in almost every human being on the planet: I am not good enough.

In the following days and weeks, as my emotions defrosted in the scorching heat of heartache, I felt a strange sense of relief. Finally, it had happened. I was still alive. Still breathing. Still able to work, bathe, and feed myself.

There was no news coverage on CNN about how my heart was broken, nor did the ending of my relationship break the Internet. Life went on for everyone as usual, except for me. It was the beginning of my freedom and I didn’t know it.

I had feared being broken up with all my life because, deep inside, I believed that I wasn’t good enough. That belief was so deeply ingrained in me that I had finally created it.

I was always the one to end a relationship because the fear of the other shoe falling would tap out my nervous system sooner than later. The guy could barely recognize the confident woman he fell in love with, who now was an emotional wreck, clinging to him for dear life.

“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” ~Jean de La Fontaine

I am convinced of one thing: People come into our lives as mirrors of who we are.

If we don’t recognize our worth, causing us to seek validation and approval from others, the world mirrors that, and we meet people who don’t see our worth either.

Rejection seemed like death to me. It was. It was the death of my old self and the birth of a new era of new choices, thoughts, and beliefs about my own self-worth.

It was unfair to tie my sense of self to the approval of one man. Unfair to both parties, in fact. What if he had died in a car crash? Was I going to become worthless then?

The gift of getting dumped was that I saw that I could still stand on my two feet and manage not to turn to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. I allowed myself to feel, journaled to process what was coming up, and paid attention to the self-negating stories I was telling myself.

You would think that it would be devastating when you are rejected for the very things that you perceive are your biggest flaws. It wasn’t.

The blessing is that, once we get through the disappointment, anger, and pain, if we are willing to look at the truth of the situation, we will find the door that has been left unlocked, leading us to freedom and our self-worth.

And it is not the “He was a jerk anyway; it’s his loss” kind of freedom. It’s the “I am worthy of love, and I’ll be darned if I leave my sense of worth in someone else’s hands again” kind.

It’s about making a commitment to value ourselves, and living as if we do. This affects our choices, from what we eat, what we wear, and how we behave to how fast we get up after we fall.

“The world is a mirror, forever reflecting what you are doing, within yourself.” ~Neville Goddard

Looking back, I could see that I had set myself up for rejection so that I could learn that my own self-rejection hurts more than someone else’s.

I had been unknowingly rejecting myself for the things he recited as he said his final words. He was a perfect mirror.

And the healing wasn’t going to come from someone telling me how wonderful I am fifty times a day. It was goi­ng to come from me believing it and living it. The importance of self-love and self-appreciation was the lesson.

Through this experience, I got some insights into rejection by a love interest, which you might find helpful:

1. Everyone experiences rejection.

Even the hottest, most intelligent, most successful people on the planet get cheated on or broken up with. If you think that your size 10 body, your negative bank balance, or your dead end job are the reasons why you might be rejected, think again.

If physical perfection or success could guarantee that we never get broken up with or experience heartache, no fashion model or mogul would know what rejection feels like. That’s not the case, is it? It’s a common human experience, and though it can be painful, what hurts more is the belief that rejection says something about our worth.

2. Trying to be something we’re not just to please someone else is essentially rejecting ourselves.

Because then we don’t get to discover who we are and be that person. We get stuck in the role we know they want us to be. We cheat ourselves of an authentic existence.

What people like or need is strictly personal to them and dependent on where they are in their lives. If someone rejects you because they want something else, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It just means they’re not the right match for you.

3. Once you experience rejection and work through it, the fear loses its sting.

If someone chooses to not be with you anymore, and you use the experience as an opportunity not to reject yourself, you are getting to a place where you will know that you will be okay no matter what.

You get to a place where you think, “Too bad it didn’t work out. I can see what I need to heal and change more clearly now. It hurts, but I am okay.” You can only go up from there. Unfortunately, we can’t get there without going through it.

“The best way out is always through.” ~Robert Frost

Rejection is a part of life. If you have experienced it, consider yourself lucky. You now know that you can survive it. If you have not, believe me when I say this: You will be okay. And perhaps, as it did for me, rejection can lead you to a deeper sense of self-love and self-acceptance.


Does Your Partner Often Get Angry and Shut Down Emotionally?

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ~Carl Jung

Three years ago I was on top of the world after realizing I had fallen in love with my best friend. Relationships this rare are beautiful, until one vital piece of them breaks down: clear communication.

Although I didn’t know it at the time, when my ex and I came together as a couple, rather than being in love, we were both just mirroring each other’s deep unconscious pain; his mother had walked out on him at a young age, and my mother had unconsciously shut me down emotionally at a similar time in my life due to her pain and frustration with the reality she had created.

I was not my most wise when I was with my ex, and I certainly wasn’t connected to my highest self. Instead, I was living from my mother’s pain, which I had taken on as my own. And I was putting undue amounts of pressure on my partner to step up and be the man I was waiting for him to be instead of accepting and loving him for the one he already was.

So many of us do this, but it’s not our fault. If our parents only ever show us how to behave in childish or selfish ways, then that’s what we’re going to default to when we’re under pressure in our own relationships.

I watched my mother behave resentfully toward my father on a regular basis when he did something that in her eyes was inherently “wrong.”

I watched her shut him out for working late or not living up to her expectations, because she was struggling but unable to communicate how she was feeling.

Then, whenever my partner did the same thing to me and I also considered it unjust, I activated my mother’s pain and everything she had taught me as a child. Consequently, I did the exact same thing to him, toxically damaging the trust between us.

What I didn’t realize was that I needed to fully heal the wounds of my past. Without first doing my own healing work around my relationship with my mother and really understanding what she was going through, I could never fully love or trust a man, whether that man was my best friend of fifteen years or not.

It appears that most people are recovering from a broken heart caused by one or both of their parents.

I was broken hearted not from the so-called flaws in my partner and our relationship (although there were many issues), but from the deep, unconscious sadness that stemmed from never experiencing real love.

If our parents are never educated on how to show us love, how can we hope to give that to ourselves and then create a strong foundation on which to meet a partner?

It’s hard to show our true feelings to the person closest to us in our adult life if, as kids, we were repeatedly told to “shut up” every time we started crying.

My mother’s behavior, learned from her own mother, made me numb and often terrified. She taught me that I needed to be perfect, and I unconsciously expected that same perfection of my partner.

Because my mother had exhibited cruel behavior toward me when I was a child, I often didn’t feel safe to express myself around my partner and just be who I really was. So I often activated pain and anger that wasn’t mine, but was actually hers. I didn’t feel permission to ask for what I really wanted in my relationship, or anywhere else in my life.

My ex and I were products of loveless marriages full of fighting, anger, and emotional numbing. That’s the education that many of us receive on relationships as kids, and so that’s what many of us perceive as “normal.” Then we carry that education into our own adult relationships and interactions.

My ex’s stories and mine matched; neither of us had parents that showed us what it really meant to feel safe and secure.

If we could all learn how to tap into and release our subconscious pain and understand each other and our differences, our relationships would take on a completely different form.

I didn’t know how to communicate my feelings without my partner feeling judged or rejected because I had such a backlog of unprocessed emotion. In the same way, he didn’t know how to fully let me know he loved and supported me without feeling that he had to risk his masculinity and pride by being intimate and letting me into his heart.

If we misunderstand each other and make assumptions that our partners don’t want to support us, we continually shut them down emotionally.

So here’s what we need to understand and remember when our partner seems to be shutting down or struggling.

We’re not angry with you. Our hearts were broken at a young age, and we’re not always aware of how deep that pain goes or how to communicate that to you.

We don’t require you to troubleshoot for us when we’re struggling. We simply long for you just to listen to us talk about how we’re feeling and hold us in your arms when we’re not feeling good enough.

We don’t mean to take our frustration out on you. We’ve just forgotten how to really love and nurture ourselves because we were never shown how to connect to ourselves on a deeper level and put ourselves first; you can remind us that it’s more than okay to do that at the times you can see our strength wavering.

When we pull away, it’s not really the person you can see in front of you that’s doing this; it’s the terrified little child inside of us who has been frozen in time, and who’s still scared of getting their feelings hurt. Sometimes that child just needs a reassuring hug.

There’s no doubt that our parents can mess us up emotionally, but it’s up to us to change the stories we have been conditioned to believe are our reality.

Really, all that was playing out in my relationship was the result of what both of our parents had shown us. I denied the painful feelings of my parents’ divorce and played that story out unconsciously with my partner.

Most people exist in relationships unconsciously, but if we’re serious about creating real and healthy partnerships, we need to become conscious. It’s about finding the best in each other every single day and co-creating an epic and expansive life together that allows two people to grow as individuals, as well as together.

It’s time for us all to wake up and do the necessary work to understand each other so that we can coexist on this planet without pain, and learn to live only from love.


7 Reasons to Keep Healthy Carbs on Your Plate

Carbs get a bad rap, but good news for grain lovers, they aren’t all created equal. Contrary to popular diets like Paleo, Whole30, and the Ketogenic diet, healthy carbs deserve a regular spot on your plate. It’s true, most people could do with eating fewer refined and processed carbs—bagels, muffins, cupcakes, doughnuts, cookies, and pizza crusts aren’t exactly health foods. Highly processed “white” flour sends your blood sugar levels on a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. But healthy carbs, like those found in grains, fruit, veggies, and dairy come packaged with nutrients that support your health in many important ways. So rather than scrapping all carbs, a smarter approach is to pay closer attention to the quality you’re eating.

Here are seven compelling reasons to keep the right kind of carbs on your plate.

1. Carbs Help You Maintain a Healthy Weight

Yes, that’s correct! Carbs won’t make you fat. A recent Italian study confirmed that people who follow a Mediterranean diet, including pasta, are more likely to have a lower BMI and slimmer waistline. Sure, a mountain of mac and cheese might pile on the pounds. But eat pasta like the Italians do—less than 3 ounces per serving, cooked “al dente”—and you can enjoy your spaghetti and stay slim, too. (Fun fact: Pasta actually has a low glycemic index, which means it creates a slower rise in blood sugar than, say, white bread). Of course, it’s not just pasta—the same BMI benefits have been shown in people who eat whole grains, pulses, and fruit, all delicious carb-rich foods!

2. Carbs Help Reduce Inflammation

Did you know corn has nearly twice the antioxidant activity of apples, while wheat and oats almost equal broccoli and spinach? A diet full of antioxidants means less inflammation, and a lower risk of diseases like diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. This was supported by a large long-term study, which found that eating more whole grains was associated with lower risks of some diseases, and may even help you live longer.

3. Carbs Can Lower Cholesterol

Soluble fiber, found in legumes, oats, barley, and certain fruits, acts like a sponge in your gut, absorbing harmful toxins and cholesterol. The fiber carries cholesterol out of your system, preventing it from being absorbed into your bloodstream, and in doing so, can lower your blood cholesterol. Avoid these healthy carbs, and you’ll be missing out on the heart-health benefits they provide.

4. Carbs Fuel Peak Performance

Anyone who’s ditched carbs knows your energy levels can take a serious hit. Almost every cell in your body prefers glucose as the quickest and easiest fuel. It takes more time and effort to convert fat or protein to fuel, and exercising with a low tank of gas can hurt your performance. To power through tough workouts, add a pre-workout snack that contains healthy carbs.

5. Carbs Help Build Muscles

Protein isn’t the only nutrient that helps build muscle tissue. Including good quality carbs in your diet ensures you have the energy to lift those heavy weights. And adding some to your post-workout snack will help release insulin to stimulate muscle growth.

6. Carbs Improve Sleep Quality

If you drag yourself out of bed each morning, fiber may be the answer to a better night’s sleep. A recent study highlighted how a diet low in fiber and high in saturated fat and sugar is associated with lighter, more restless sleep. On the flip side, eating more fiber is associated with deeper, more restorative sleep. So if you’re looking to get more zzz’s, skip the cookies ’n cream ice cream and try a handful of raspberries, instead.

7. Carbs Allow More Flexibility in Your Diet

Cutting all carbs limits your choice of foods dramatically, making dining with friends and family a challenge. Drop the restrictions and make every meal more enjoyable. A whole world of possibilities opens up when sandwiches, grain bowls, and fruit salads become options. And let’s face it, eating should be a pleasant experience, not one filled with feelings of guilt and deprivation.

There’s no need to fear all carbs. Go ahead and skip processed carbs and sugary foods, but don’t miss out on the glorious bounty of nutrients healthy carbs have to offer.